...mail was good yesterday - 2 letters and 3 postcards for me, 1 postcard for sara and an email for marc - my cartes postales:
and yesterday evening was busy, so I saved everything to read and savor over coffee this morning. totally love how katie's words evoke her voice - I can hear her talking as I read the letters. but there was something just a bit sad about these letters (she later reminded me - in a much-welcomed phone call - that she's turning in the letters for a grade in her Language/Culture/Communication class - I wonder just a bit how much is real and how much is "for the teacher"?) ...in any event, the main message in my e-mail to her this morning is "you're 20 - you can go back if you want - I'm confident you'll be able to make that happen."
and in a follow-up email to my mom this evening the message is "well...I know I wouldn't be able to make many follow-on trips to europe...and shoot, I can't have more babies either" ...and I wonder - when did those "opportunities" become lost dreams or did I simply abandon them with full realization?
later - after much reflection - including a very "happy" journal posting before I let myself become so reflective :-) I am very much ok with my choices...and with the not-choices I've been handed. totally love the life I'm living now. and totally ok with never going to europe again...unless katie, or sara, or someone else?, wants me to accompany them on the adventure. because I am 100+% ok with where I am right now.
and that is a very wonderful place to be at "nearly" 45...I'm blessed...and lucky.