...I'm sure I must've blogged about this before (but honestly I'm not sure, and I'm not willing to take the time right now to pore over posts from the past 4 months to check - so if you have read this before - sorry) - it's certainly been a theme in my journaling and my weekly postcards to my mom.
27 years in the corporate world spoiled me for routines. monday through friday were spent working. "regular hours". I never had to check my calendar to see if I was free for coffee on a random thursday afternoon. of course I wasn't - I was working. weekends were saved for Plans. and I did routinely check my calendar to see what they were so I didn't overcommit (not that I didn't mess up every now and then :-). but I remembered most of them without even looking. they were Plans, after all.
but now - ask me if I'm free on any day for any thing and I have to check my calendar. because every day is different. some days I teach. some days I work. some days I have errands to run for marc or for sara (or for me). some days I meet friends to knit. some days I have things to do around the house. some days I have [fill in the blank]. every day is just different enough that I feel a bit ... un-centered about it all.
and adjusting to that has probably been the hardest part about these past (nearly) four months. I'm trying to embrace the flexibility, but a deep part of me really (really) craves the routines. four months in, I'm getting better about not being able to make plans for certain things until I have my teaching/work schedule set. and my friends seem more flexible than I about our plans. but I'm grabbing onto every bit of time that I might get ... routine?... about.
like early morning time.
today sara had to be at school early and I faced the reality that sara has just a few more "early morning" days to share. so I tried out something new. 8am on the deck. coffee. journaling. and despite the birds, the kind of quiet that clears my head.
...this could be a good new routine. because 8am is nearly always "free". perfect to be me time. something I can count on. and I know I do need that.