This Page

has moved to a new address:

http://www.mere-et-filles.com

Sorry for the inconvenience…

Redirection provided by Blogger to WordPress Migration Service
/* ----------------------------------------------- Blogger Template Style Name: Minima Designer: Douglas Bowman URL: www.stopdesign.com Date: 26 Feb 2004 ----------------------------------------------- */ body { background:#fff; margin:0; padding:40px 20px; font:x-small Georgia,Serif; text-align:center; color:#333; font-size/* */:/**/small; font-size: /**/small; } a:link { color:#58a; text-decoration:none; } a:visited { color:#969; text-decoration:none; } a:hover { color:#c60; text-decoration:underline; } a img { border-width:0; } /* Header ----------------------------------------------- */ @media all { #header { width:660px; margin:0 auto 10px; border:1px solid #ccc; } } @media handheld { #header { width:90%; } } #blog-title { margin:5px 5px 0; padding:20px 20px .25em; border:1px solid #eee; border-width:1px 1px 0; font-size:200%; line-height:1.2em; font-weight:normal; color:#666; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.2em; } #blog-title a { color:#666; text-decoration:none; } #blog-title a:hover { color:#c60; } #description { margin:0 5px 5px; padding:0 20px 20px; border:1px solid #eee; border-width:0 1px 1px; max-width:700px; font:78%/1.4em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Arial,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.2em; color:#999; } /* Content ----------------------------------------------- */ @media all { #content { width:660px; margin:0 auto; padding:0; text-align:left; } #main { width:410px; float:left; } #sidebar { width:220px; float:right; } } @media handheld { #content { width:90%; } #main { width:100%; float:none; } #sidebar { width:100%; float:none; } } /* Headings ----------------------------------------------- */ h2 { margin:1.5em 0 .75em; font:78%/1.4em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Arial,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.2em; color:#999; } /* Posts ----------------------------------------------- */ @media all { .date-header { margin:1.5em 0 .5em; } .post { margin:.5em 0 1.5em; border-bottom:1px dotted #ccc; padding-bottom:1.5em; } } @media handheld { .date-header { padding:0 1.5em 0 1.5em; } .post { padding:0 1.5em 0 1.5em; } } .post-title { margin:.25em 0 0; padding:0 0 4px; font-size:140%; font-weight:normal; line-height:1.4em; color:#c60; } .post-title a, .post-title a:visited, .post-title strong { display:block; text-decoration:none; color:#c60; font-weight:normal; } .post-title strong, .post-title a:hover { color:#333; } .post div { margin:0 0 .75em; line-height:1.6em; } p.post-footer { margin:-.25em 0 0; color:#ccc; } .post-footer em, .comment-link { font:78%/1.4em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Arial,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.1em; } .post-footer em { font-style:normal; color:#999; margin-right:.6em; } .comment-link { margin-left:.6em; } .post img { padding:4px; border:1px solid #ddd; } .post blockquote { margin:1em 20px; } .post blockquote p { margin:.75em 0; } /* Comments ----------------------------------------------- */ #comments h4 { margin:1em 0; font:bold 78%/1.6em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Arial,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.2em; color:#999; } #comments h4 strong { font-size:130%; } #comments-block { margin:1em 0 1.5em; line-height:1.6em; } #comments-block dt { margin:.5em 0; } #comments-block dd { margin:.25em 0 0; } #comments-block dd.comment-timestamp { margin:-.25em 0 2em; font:78%/1.4em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Arial,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.1em; } #comments-block dd p { margin:0 0 .75em; } .deleted-comment { font-style:italic; color:gray; } /* Sidebar Content ----------------------------------------------- */ #sidebar ul { margin:0 0 1.5em; padding:0 0 1.5em; border-bottom:1px dotted #ccc; list-style:none; } #sidebar li { margin:0; padding:0 0 .25em 15px; text-indent:-15px; line-height:1.5em; } #sidebar p { color:#666; line-height:1.5em; } /* Profile ----------------------------------------------- */ #profile-container { margin:0 0 1.5em; border-bottom:1px dotted #ccc; padding-bottom:1.5em; } .profile-datablock { margin:.5em 0 .5em; } .profile-img { display:inline; } .profile-img img { float:left; padding:4px; border:1px solid #ddd; margin:0 8px 3px 0; } .profile-data { margin:0; font:bold 78%/1.6em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Arial,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.1em; } .profile-data strong { display:none; } .profile-textblock { margin:0 0 .5em; } .profile-link { margin:0; font:78%/1.4em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Arial,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.1em; } /* Footer ----------------------------------------------- */ #footer { width:660px; clear:both; margin:0 auto; } #footer hr { display:none; } #footer p { margin:0; padding-top:15px; font:78%/1.6em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.1em; } /* Feeds ----------------------------------------------- */ #blogfeeds { } #postfeeds { }

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Ten on Tuesday | Being There.


...this past weekend, Bob - a dear friend of Carole and Dale - passed away. I didn't know Bob personally; but from the posts and photos that Carole has shared over the years, I know he touched many lives...and that many are feeling a deep loss with his passing. Today, Carole has asked us to share ways we can be supportive when someone dies.

I've been thinking about this since yesterday afternoon...and...this is a hard list. What keeps coming to mind is simply "being there" which could be any or all of these things:

physically sitting in the same room - maybe talking...or maybe not (knitting is good for both) and when you're not there in person,
checking in with a phone call or an email or a text

making plans to meet at 7am to go for a walk
or 6:30pm to go out for a glass of wine (or a walk... sunset is about this time these days and that can be a very peaceful time)

being ok to just be, without talking,
or recognizing it's a time to talk (which means for me, a time to listen).
or maybe it's a time to tell stories - to remind them how he lived...and how much he was loved.

writing a note so they have mail to pickup. and read. being sure to mention one specific thing you knew or loved about him.

bringing a meal. yay for comfort food, and leftovers, and taking care of all the family and friends that aren't normally there...but must be fed. (but recognizing when too much food is simply too much - my girlfriend's husband died last March and she felt inundated with food...but welcomed twice-weekly deliveries of "salad lunches" for her and her sister-in-law - the perfect amount of food for two...ladies).

staying close and being flexible. grief is different for everyone. and for those who grieve, grief is different every day.

My heart goes out to Carole and Dale and to Bob's family and friends. Wishing them all God's peace.

Labels:

5 Comments:

Blogger Carole said...

Thank you so much, Mary. All of these things on your list are excellent ideas/advice. I appreciate your support as we go through this.

Wednesday, 07 October, 2015  
Blogger margene said...

Being there and having your friend know you're always near. People who are grieving stay within themselves and by checking in we can remind them of the world outside.

Wednesday, 07 October, 2015  
Anonymous Barb said...

This is wonderful advice, Mary. I am one to call, and take food over. When my friend was sick I used to take her and her husband dinners. After she died, he declined dinners but we had him over for coffee as much as possible. And I call every so often.

Thursday, 08 October, 2015  
Blogger Kym said...

A very beautiful list, Mary.

Thursday, 08 October, 2015  
Blogger Lydia said...

Being there and listening are the best.

Thursday, 15 October, 2015  

Post a Comment

Thanks for the feedback!

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home